


Don't Leave Me

by lustfulunlawful



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Fluff, FreakyTits-Freeform, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lustfulunlawful/pseuds/lustfulunlawful
Summary: This fict is my take on 03x08 of Wentworth!
Relationships: Vera Bennett/Joan Ferguson
Comments: 26
Kudos: 37





	1. 'Live fish'

**Author's Note:**

> I am far from a writer I just find it fun recreate different scenes of Wentworth and to make my own XD

Vera is just getting back from her lunch break to be greeted by Fletch. “Hey Vera!” Vera started to walk away as Fletch called her again.

“Uh Vera, I believe this is to go to the Governor.” He holds out a large box with ‘Live Fish’ on the side of it.

_ What the hell would the Governor want with a fish?  _ Vera thought to herself

Vera picks up the box making sure not to jostle it around because there is a live fish in it after all. She heads her way down the corridors and makes her way to the Governor's office _. _ Vera knocks and opens the Governor’s door to see Joan looking at her computer.

“This arrived for you yesterday, must've got held up in reception.” Joan pauses and looks slightly confused as to what exactly Vera is holding in her hands. “It's a fish.” Joan continues to stay silent as Vera turns around to put the box on the desk behind her.

“Matthew Fletcher, why is he back in general?” Joan said with clear agitation 

“I think he’s ready.” Vera said confidently 

“Really, you didn't think to discuss it with me first.”

“Staff roster is my responsibility. It's my opinion that he’s ready to be reintegrated into the normal work routine.” Vera furrowed her eyebrows 

“Whats-What's going on here? What's the matter? I'm sensing some tension. We cannot be an effective team, Vera if you put up barriers between us.” 

“Team?" Vera said confusingly. 

"Is that what we are?” Vera's eyes started to twitch in confusion and anger.

Joan looked down at the words her deputy just said. “Dinner, tonight my house.”

“Wh- Excuse me?” Vera was looking for some kind of emotion on Joans face.

“What, you have other plans? Seven o'clock. Bring a bottle of uh, something nice. Red, Shiraz, that'd be good. I have Vodka. That's all.” Joan gave a light smile

“Eh,.. Ok Governor see you tonight.” Vera said wryly

Vera walked down the halls and was replaying what just happened in her head over and over. She was a little confused as to why the Governor wanted to have her over for dinner but was surprised at the same time. Vera put the thought in the back of her head to continue working through the rest of her shift. 

Vera’s shift was now over and on her way out she saw Joan and started to blush a little when she thought about the night that was ahead of her. Vera was quite scared also. She watched as Joan walked out to her car and got in and drove off before Vera was even to leave the prison.

Fletch saw Vera as she watched the Governor leave and how Vera was waiting until she left to even sign out. “What's that all about?” Fletch mentioned in curiosity 

“Nothing Fletch I'll see you tomorrow.” 

Vera walked out and made her way home. When she got to her house she realized that it was nearly 5pm. Vera quickly ran to the store to grab some wine. She saw Shiraz but she didn't grab it because she strongly disliked it, so she grabbed Pinot instead. She hoped that this was good enough for Joan. She checked herself out at the store and walked back out to the car. She made her way back home to start getting ready.

Vera hopped in the shower and quickly started to wash herself. After her shower she blowdried her hair. She didn't bother putting on any makeup. After she was done with her hair she made her way over to her wardrobe. She decided she was going to wear a gray v-neck blouse with black skinny jeans not wanting to be overly dressed. She made her way downstairs to put on her shoes and grab her bag as she went out the door.

Vera got in her car and drove herself to Joan's. She arrived five minutes early to make sure that she was on time so she did not annoy Joan. She grabbed the bottle of wine from the passengers seat and got out of her car. Vera walked up to the door and knocked hesitantly. Joan opened the door with a smile on her face.

Joan stood in front of her with her gorgeous black and silver hair that came down to her shoulders. She hardly ever saw Joan with her hair down and when she did she could see a certain softness about her. She wore a dark green almost black blouse that had a slight mesh in certain spots, with black trousers that accentuated her long legs. Vera loved seeing Joan in regular clothes. It made her look a little less intimidating.

Vera handed her the bottle of wine. “Pinot!” Joan smiled reassuringly

“I don't like Shiraz.” Vera blushed hoping she didn't upset Joan. Joan gestured for her to come in.

Vera entered the older woman's house and noticed how she took her shoes off at the front door. Without any hesitation she took her shoes off and followed Joan into the dining room.

“Sit, I'm almost finished, Just need to grab some glasses.” 

Vera sat down waiting for Joan to come back with the glasses. Joan came back and poured them both a shot of vodka and a glass of wine to go with their food. There was nothing but silence between them and Vera didn't know what to say so she decided to look around Joan's home and take in the space.

_ This is so Joan.  _ Vera thought in her head

“You know that I've always wanted to be more than just a mentor to you." Joan hesitated before continuing. "I value our relationship. Let me explain why." She took a sip of her wine as she continued. "I enjoy working with you, and I feel that that sense of professional satisfaction is reciprocated. I believe that we've developed a certain report, based on our mutual respect and understanding. That transcends our difference in status, hmm?” Joan now became nervous with herself not understanding why.

“I'm not one to develop friends e-.” Joan lifted her hand to her nose in fear that everything she was saying is wrong. “But I do feel that we still… We share a common philosophy, when it comes to corrections. I don't feel that were that dissimilar..” Joan started to trail off before Vera interrupted her.

“No, Stop!" Vera put her hand up. "Okay just stop. You and I are nothing alike. I would never do to anyone what you did to me.” Vera became infused with anger  _ Is she really doing this now? Of all times she chose now? _

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Joan trailed off knowing where this conversation was going

“During the riot, when the prisoners had a syringe to my throat… You refused to negotiate. You were willing to throw me out to that pack of dogs without a second thought.”

“That is not true--”

“Stop lying, I know what you're trying to do!” Vera now extremely frustrated and starts to grind her teeth

“Someone is trying to drive a wedge between us.” Joan said concerningly

“You don't care about me! You have NEVER cared about me!” Vera practically heard the echo of her own scream.

“I do, I do care about you.” Joan hesitantly reached over to caress Vera's hand to try and comfort her.

“They stabbed me with a needle.” Vera's lip started to twitch

“Well that is hardly my fault.”

Veras lip were now quivering. ”I have hepatitis C.” She let out in one breath hesitantly. 

Joan looked at their hands and pulled away like she had just been burned, rubbing her hand on her napkin as a way to get rid of the germs. Joan wanted to keep her hand there, she knew that she couldn't get Hep C through touch but she couldn't help that she was a germaphobe. 

Vera stood up and was feeling so much hatred and hurt towards the older woman. Vera got her things and walked out without so much as a goodbye. The smaller woman got in her car and drove to her house trying to hold back tears. As soon as she got in her driveway she parked and shut the car off.

“UGHAAAAA.” Vera screamed out banging her palms on the steering wheel as tears uncontrollably fell from her doe eyes. She continued to bang on the steering wheel in frustration. When she finally got herself together she walked inside, kicked offer shoes, not even bothering to put them where they go. She went upstairs and took off all her clothes and ran a hot shower.

Vera got in and hissed to the temperature of the water but soon got used to it. She sat down in the bottom of the tub and brought her knees up to her chest and started to rock back and forth sobbing. She felt useless; she just wanted to stay there all night.

Vera had been in the shower for at least 20 minutes sobbing not knowing what to do. Feeling as tho she had failed at life.

All of the sudden she felt the water turn off and strong arms wrap around her.


	2. Im Sorry

How could she be so stupid! _I can't get Hepatitis C through touch!_ Joan thought angrily at herself. 

She watched vera get up from the table. She didn't want her to go but she couldn't say anything she couldn't get any words to come out of her mouth. She was mute. Joan could see the hate and hurt in in the smaller woman's eyes when she got up from the table. She knew that she really Hurt Vera this time.

_Why do I have to be such a germaphobe!_ Joan thought to herself

About 10 minutes passed after Joan cleaned up the mess from dinner. Joan started to feel guilty for letting Vera walkout without any sort of explanation. She kept seeing that look in Vera's eyes when she drew her hand back. She felt disgusted in her actions. She wished she had never pulled away her hand.

Joan was tired of feeling guilty about what she did to Vera so she grabbed her keys and coat and got into her car and drove to drive to the smaller woman's house. She really messed up and she wanted to fix what she had done. On her way to the smaller woman's house she could see nothing but the look that Vera had given her. She never knew that Vera could hold so much hate for another person.

The closer she got to Veras the more she started to panic. _What if she doesn't let me in?_ She pushed away any fear she had as she got closer to The smaller woman's house. When she got to Veras she could see that Veras car was in the driveway. That was a good sign at least she was home. 

Joan pulled in and suddenly started to have second thoughts. _I should just leave her. NO! I need to make things right._ Joan got out and walked up to Vera's door. She knocked and didn't get an answer. She knocked again and still no answer. _That's weird Vera normally answers the door right away._

Joan turned the knob and realized that the front door is open. Joan walks into the hallway and it's dark, she doesn't see Vera anywhere. She checks everywhere down stairs but no luck. She decides to have a look upstairs. As she climbed the stairs she could see that the light is on for the bathroom across the hall. She walks closed and hears the shower running.

_She's taking a shower I should probably leave then._ As Joan goes to turn around she hears a soft sob coming from the bathroom. She starts to feel her heart ache knowing that she's probably the reason behind Vera crying. She liked scaring the shit out of people but making Vera cry was something she never wanted to do.

She opened the door to hear the cries were louder and harder. She peeks in the shower to see Vera curled up into a ball crying into her knees. As much as she fantasizes about seeing Vera naked she knew that she was vulnerable at this moment and needed comfort. Joan leans in to turn off the water seeing as Veras has been in there a while, her fingers were starting to wrinkle.

Joan leans down and wraps her arms around Vera lifting her out of the shower and taking her over to her bed. Vera was so caught up in crying that she hadn't even realized that Joan was there.

Joan laid Vera on the bed and started to dry her off. She could see Veras full breasts and strong thighs. She would have preferred to see Vera naked under different circumstances but right now Vera needed comfort. 

When Vera finally realized it was Joan she quickly covered herself in embarrassment. “What are you doing here! Have you come to tell me how gross I am to you? Get out!” Vera sobbed

“Vera you are far from gross to me, I reacted in such a way earlier that was unacceptable, I'm sorry.” Joan said with her head hung low.

“You're sorry, pfh that's a first.” Vera still crying

“Listen Vera, Like i said earlier I'm not one to make friends easily, but I consider you my friend. My only friend. Whether or not you feel the same way i'm not sure and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.” Joan now letting herself become emotional 

“After everything you've done to me, I'm not sure if i could call you a friend.” Vera now with her knees up to her face and a sheet over her.

“I understand, But Vera like I said you're my only friend. I trust you, So i'm going to stand by your side through all of this. I'm going to make sure that you're well taken care of if you like it or not!” Joan sat down on the bed next to Vera and hesitantly wrapped her arm around her to pull her closer to comfort her. Vera was a little startled by the touch and flinched.

“You couldn't even touch my hand earlier, why are you touching me now? I'm disgusting, remember.” Vera sniffled, she wanted to move from Joans arms but she felt safe and comforted despite the tension between them.

Joan pulled her closer and caressed her left arm. Vera's head laid on Joans solder and Joan laid her head on Vera's head. “Let's get you dressed shall we, I think you should get some rest, you've had a long night.”

Joan walks over to Vera's dresser and grabs her a black silk camisole with matching shorts and a pair of nickers. “Here let's get you into these.” Joan started to help Vera put on the clothes before Vera stopped her. 

“I can do it myself, can you please turn around.” Vera said shyly

Joan gave a little smirk. “I just took you out of the shower and dried you off and not to mention the whole time you were naked. Now I would have liked to see you exposed under different circumstances but I will turn around if it makes you feel better.” Joan turned around to give Vera a slight bit of privacy so she could change.

“Ok i'm done now thanks.” Vera sat back down in the bed. She started to fiddle with her fingers and Joan knew that this was a sign that she was nervous.

“What's up? I can see your nervous, what's on your mind?” Joan spoke in a soft comforting voice.

“Well uh, I- I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I have to call out of work and well… I was wondering if you would come with me to keep me company?” Vera's voice was shaky as she spoke with uncertainty.

“You don't have to come. I can understand if you don't want to and you would probably have to call out of work for it. So no pressure i was just ask-” Vera was soon cut off by Joan.

“Nonsense Vera, of course I will come with you, I'm glad you asked.” The corners of Joans mouth turned into a slight smile. Joan didn't like the idea of doctors or hospitals but she was willing to accompany Vera anytime she asked. This was the first step to making their friendship stronger.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Joan asked Vera politely. Joan knew that she was in Vera's house But she wanted to make sure Vera was as comfortable as possible.

“Uh, water would be fine.” 

Joan made her way downstairs to the kitchen.She grabbed a tall glass and got some filtered water for Vera. On her way out of the kitchen she noticed a calendar. She saw that Vera had two more doctors appointments this month.

Joan took out her phone and snapped a quick picture of the calendar so she knew the dates and times for them so she could make sure to go with Vera. 

Joan was heading upstairs, when she entered Vera's room she could see that Vera was fast asleep cuddling a pillow. Joan set the cup of water on Vera's bed side, covered her up, and kissed her forehead. Joan decided to leave a note. 

**Vera by the time I got back with your water you were sound asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake you. I will be back in the morning at 8AM to take you to the doctors, end of question I'm taking you.**

**-Joan**

  
  


Joan left Vera's house and made her way home. Once she got home she felt a huge release and somewhat happy for making things right with Vera. She really wanted to get close to Vera as a friend and possibly more. With all the tension off her shoulders she decided that she could finally get some rest. Joan then went to bed and she would be lying if she said she didn't go to bed with a smile on her face.


	3. The Appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joan accompanied Vera at the doctor.

It was 6:30 AM when Vera rolled over to turn off her alarm. She groaned at how early it was almost wanting to go back to sleep. She sat up and swung her feet over the edge of the bed not being able to touch the ground because of her height. She got up and made her way to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. When she walked back into her room she noticed a small note next to a glass of water. She furrowed her eyebrows at first forgetting about last night. She read the note from Joan and her cheeks blushed from embarrassment suddenly remembering everything that happened.

Vera had completely forgotten that she had asked Joan to go with her to the doctors today. 

_OMG!_ She thought

She now has her boss driving her to her doctors appointment. She puts her face in her palm and shakes her head. _What have I done? She is a busy woman. How could you ask her such a favor?_ She then realized that Joan must’ve not minded going with Vera to the doctor since she is the one taking me after all.

Vera saw the clock now said 7 AM. She had been sitting there for 30 minutes contemplating her thoughts.

Vera got up and started to get ready. She wore a simple lavender floral day dress that went down just below the knee. She wanted to make sure she was wearing something that was comfortable since the weather was going to be nice today. She threw on some flesh pink lipstick and some mascara. She was going for a simple look. 

Vera made her way downstairs and popped some toast in the toaster. While she waited for the toast to get done she went over to the shoe rack to pick out some black flats. By the time she picked them out her toast was ready. The smaller woman walked back into the kitchen and pulled her toast out of the toaster. She put some vegemite on her toast and ate it for breakfast. 

As she took her last bite of toast she realized that it was 7:50 AM! She quickly grabbed her medical papers and purse. She heard a soft tap on the door. _Must be Joan_. She walked over, opened the door and there stood Fletch.

“I saw you're not at work this morning I wanted to make sure you were alright.” Fletch sounded worried. “Ah you look nice, expecting someone?”

Vera was confused as to why Fletch even cared about her to leave work and check on her. “Yeah I am actually Fletch i'm gonna need you to leave they will be here any minute.” As Vera said this there was Joan pulling up in her driveway.

Fletch looked at Vera in confusion as Joan got out of the car and started to walk up to the house. “The Governor must be worried about you to.” Fletch tried not to laugh

“No Mr.Fletcher, I'm here to pick Vera up.” Joan said and smiled. She walked past Fletch and up to Vera as she was closing her door and held out her elbow for Vera to grab. 

Vera was a little confused as to why Joan was acting this way but definitely wasn't complaining. Vera Interlocked their elbows as Joan lead her to the car and opened the passenger door so she could get in.

Fletcher was confused and jealous he didn't know what was going on between the two. “What are y'all a thing now?” 

Joan looked back with a mischievous smile before saying “Mr.Fletcher I suggest you get back to work, me and Ms.Bennett will be just fine.” Joan walked over to her side of the car got in and backed out of the driveway.

“Thanks for that.” Vera blushed

“Of Course Vera, your my friend I would do what's best for you, and right then Mr.Fletcher was not what's best! We need to get you to the doctor after all.” Joan reached over and patted Vera's knee. 

Joan noticed that Vera was wearing a beautiful dress that complimented her eyes very well. “You look very nice today Vera. Do you always dress so nice for the doctors or was it something else?” Joan smirked knowing Vera was watching her.

“No, I just knew it would be nice out today and i didn't want to look terrible coming out of the house. Also today is a big day, I find out if my Hep C is gone or not. That's why I asked you to come. I would like you to know.” Vera explained

“Well thank you for letting me be here.” Joan pulled into the doctor right on time. Joan got out before Vera could so she could open her door for her. “Ah Ah i got it.” 

Vera blushed “Thank you Joan.”

They both walked inside Joan again holding the door for Vera. As Vera went to sign in Joan sat down in the waiting room. Vera came back and sat next to Joan and they started talking about work and little things outside of work.

Finally after waiting a good 20 minutes a nurse comes out “Vera Bennett!” She calls out into the waiting room.

Vera stands up and takes Joans hand and walks her over to the nurse. The nurse takes them back to a room where Vera has to wait for the doctor. 

“I could've waited in the waiting room ya know.” Joan says

“No way! I brought you here so you could come back with me.” Vera let out a little chuckle. “I'm just really praying that the medicine worked and I no longer have Hep C.” Vera frowned

Joan grabbed Vera's hand and held it slowly, caressing it “I'm sure it's cured by now Vera.” Joan smiled reassuringly 

After a few minutes the doctor knocked on the door and walked in causing them to release their hands. The doctor was holding a needle and little vials so he could get Vera's blood sample. ”Alright Ms.Bennett I'm gonna need to see your arm so I can find a nice vein for this blood sample.”

Vera gave him her arm as he was observing it for good veins “Alrighty here's a good one. I'm just gonna tie this around your arm and get your vein to pop out a bit.”

Vera felt the pressure of the rubber around her arm “Joan can I hold your hand please. I hate needles.” Vera reached for Joans hand and Joan reached out and took it. Joan made Vera focus all of her attention on her.

Vera started to panic as she saw the needle. Joan put two fingers under Veras chin to bring her head towards Joan. “Look into my eyes Vera it's alright. It's just pain. Focus on me.” Vera listened to Joan. By the time Joan got done talking it was all over and the doctor had her blood samples.

“Nice job Ms.Bennett, you did very good today. Perhaps you should bring your wife in with you more often.” Joan looked at Vera and Vera looked at Joan.

They busted out laughing.

“My wife, ah haha.” Vera was hysterical

“Oi Vera when did we get married because I think I missed the wedding.” Joan still laughing 

“Sorry ladies you too must have a very good friendship then cause the whole staff mistaked you all for lovers.” The doctor said

Vera looked at Joan and Blushed. Joan, still laughing, put her hand up to Veras cheek and rubbed it “Don't Worry my wife, no need to be embarrassed.” Vera cracked a smile.

The doctor is now gone. “You know Joan you should laugh more. It's a good look for you.” Joan felt a blush, was she blushing? No way she never blushes. “No need to feel embarrassed if anybody should be embarrassed. It's me because I couldn't handle a tiny needle.” Vera saying this caused Them both to chuckle a little bit.

“Thanks Vera, you know this isn't the ideal day off of work but it's quite nice to have a break.” Joan smiled at Vera. They got so distracted that they didn't notice they were still holding hands. Vera let out a smile.

They both heard a knock on the door. Looking up vera noticed it was a female nurse. “My results are back already?” Vera said, confused.

“No actually Ms.Bennett the doctor needs me to check for lumps since you're already here.” The nurse smiled.

Joan looked at Vera with wide eyes. “Would you like your friend to sit out in the waiting room?” The nurse asked.

“Yes I-” Joan began to say before Vera cut her off.

“No she's fine. She can stay.” Vera looked at Joan and smiled.

“Are you sure?” Joan and the nurse said at the same time.

“Yeah that's fine I don't mind.” Vera said quickly

Vera began to take off her dress because she didn't wear a shirt. She wasn't expecting to do this today so she thought a dress would be good. There she was now only in her knickers and bra. Vera begins to blush being practically naked in front of the nurse and Joan. She slowly took off her bra. feeling completely exposed. Veras nipples begin to harden at the cold air blowing over them. 

Joan was watching the doctor check Vera for breast lumps. Joan will be lying if she didn't wish that she was the one checking Vera and not the nurse. Vera had really nice plump breasts. She was trying not to look directly at Vera during the process but it wasn't easy.

The nurse was now done checking Vera. “You're all good to get dressed now.” The nurse left the room.

“Hey Joan, can you help me?” Vera was asking Joan to help her put her bra back on. Joan walked over to Vera and clipped her bra for her. When she was done clipping Vera's bra she took her hands and ran them down Vera's shoulders and down her arms. feeling Veras soft skin. She could feel a slight warmth between her legs from just touching her. 

Vera put her dress back on. Shortly after the doctor knocked and came in. “Your blood results came back and you're negative for Hepatitis C, congratulations! Also the nurse told me but there's no lumps so you're good to go for that too.”

Vera jumped up and grabbed Joan and gave her a big hug. “Yes!” Vera cried out happily. Joan hugged her back and started to feel happy with Vera. Vera was hugging Joan so tight that Vera's face was pressed right in Joan's breasts because of their height difference. Vera didn't notice till the doctor gave her a look of amusement. 

Vera backed up realizing that she was probably making Joan uncomfortable. She looked in Joans eyes and said, “I'm sorry.” She sounded ashamed until she felt hands pull her back in. They both smiled and remained hugging for a good two minutes. Joan started to caress Veras head giving one last squeeze she pulled away. 

“I told you you would be fine.” Joan was happy for Vera

“I'm so glad that it's over and I can finally not feel like a bad person.” Vera started to tear up.

“Vera you were never a bad person.” Joan brought Vera in for another hug seeing as she was crying. “No need to be sad, you're free of that now you should be happy.”

Vera got herself together and smiled at Joan. “Let's get going.” 


	4. Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That reminds me! I also have off tomorrow. I was wondering if you maybe might want to go out for dinner with me tonight?”

Vera waited for Joan at the front gate till she came up to her. “Morning Governor.” Joan nodded and smiled. This was her usual way of greeting people. Except for the smile she only ever smiled at Vera. This made her feel special.

They went through their normal day only talking to each other when they saw each other. Not out of distancing it was just because it was a busy day.

It was the end of Vera's shift when she made her way to the Governor's office. The door was open and Vera walked in. “Hello Vera.” The Governor said without even picking up her head to look at Vera.

“Yes, Hello Governor, I just wanted to stop by and say that my shift was over and would see you after tomorrow since it's my day off.” Vera smiled

“That reminds me! I also have off tomorrow. I was wondering if you maybe might want to go out for dinner with me tonight?”

“Like a date?” Vera chuckled

“Y- No just two friends going out for dinner.” Joan smiled

“I would consider it a date but I accept!” Vera blushed

“Good, I'll be at your house at 7:30 PM sound good?”

“Yep, See you then Governor!”

Joan watched as Vera walked out of her office. She had finally gotten that question off her chest. Joan would be lying if she said it wasn't actually a date but she didn't want Vera to know that yet.

Joan made her way home to get ready for the night. Joan had gotten to her house and did her normal routine before going upstairs and showering. She got out of the shower and had a towel wrapped around her. She walked over to her closet to find something to wear. She settled on Black flowy trousers, a white dress shirt and a black suit jacket. Joan also picked out an onyx necklace to complimented her outfit.

Joan went back into the bathroom after she laid out her outfit to finish drying off. After Joan was satisfyingly dry she blow dried her hair and brushed her teeth. Joan lightly curled her hair for some volume before getting dressed.

After Joan was done in the bathroom she went into her room to start getting dressed. Joan put on black lace knickers with a matching black lace bra. She started putting on her dress shirt and then her pants and after she put on her coat. She put on her necklace and then decided she wanted to wear some perfume. She chose her most seductive vanilla scented ‘Hypnotic Poison’ perfume. She wanted to make sure Vera could smell her tonight. Joan went to put on the slightest amount of makeup making sure that she kept it light like always. She went downstairs to pick her shoes and settled on a pair of heels that looked somewhat like the governor heels she wore.

By the time she got done it was now 6:30 PM and she decided that she was ready to go. She remembered that it only took about twenty minutes to get to Vera's house but she wanted to stop and pick up a bouquet of flowers for Vera before she got there.

She stopped at the flower shop and it was extremely hard to find a flower that she wanted to give to Vera. She left with a bouquet of pink Camellia’s which symbolize love and passion. Joan thought they were perfect.

Once she left the flower shop she was on her way to Veras. She found herself sitting in the driveway debating on when she should knock on the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter was so short :/ next one will be better.


	5. I don't want to go home.

Vera had just got home. She went upstairs and quickly started getting ready. After her shower she went through all of her clothes before deciding on a slim fitting dress that went down slightly past her knees with a slit that went up to her mid thigh. She chose black dangly earrings to go with it along with a pair of black stiletto heels and a small black handbag. After getting dressed she went into the bathroom to do her hair. She went with a messy low back bun with two pieces of hair on each side to frame her face. She made sure it wasn't too messy but not too tight and clean. Vera didn't wear makeup often so she decided to wear some red lipstick and mascara and eyeliner to bring out her eyes. She put on some perfume that smelled of roses and headed down stairs.

She sat in her kitchen watching as the clock hit 7:30 PM right on the dot she heard a knock at the door. Her cheeks turned red in excitement. She quickly pulled out a compact to check her lipstick and ran to the door.

“Joan!” There she stood looking as beautiful as ever. Her strong features really brought out by the tailored suit. Her eyes began to wonder Joans beautiful figure before she noticed that Joan was holding something behind her back.

“What's behind you?” Vera said curiously with a smirk.

Joan smiled and held out her bouquet of flowers hoping that Vera liked them. “There are Pink Camellia’s, I thought they were just beautiful so I wanted to bring them to you.” Joan said with a small smile on her face.

“Thank you Joan, they are really beautiful!” Vera said, taking the flowers from Joan and running to the kitchen to put them in a vase of water. Vera walked back to the door where Joan was standing waiting for her. “I've put them right on my kitchen table so I can look at them everyday.” 

“That's lovely, I'm sure they compliment it well.” 

Joan and Vera walked out to the car and drove off. Joan wanted to make sure it was a surprise for Vera so she made sure not to tell her where they were going. “Now we’re going somewhere that I think you'll like. I can't tell you where but just know you'll most likely love it.” Joan knew that Vera was both excited and frustrated to not know where they were going but Joan liked to keep people on edge.

When they got there the outside was lit up with beautiful lights and outside seating areas. There was a section with an out look on the beach. Vera looked at Joan with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Joan! This place is beautiful.” Vera said with a tear forming in her eyes. Before they got out of the car Joan saw that Vera had a tear rolling down her cheek. She reached over and placed her hand on her knee.

“I'm Sorry Vera, is something wrong? Would you rather go somewhere else?” 

“No I- I just- No one has ever taken me to a place like this before I love it! Thank you for this Joan.” Vera smiled

“Well i'm glad to be the first. I've actually never been here myself but I heard it's quite nice.”

They then realize that Joan’s hand was still laid on Vera's knee. They both blush as a result of Joan moving her hand away. Altho Vera was sad at the loss of contact she desperately wanted to get to their table as she was starving.

Joan got out of the car and walked over to Vera’s door and opened it for her. Joan grabbed Vera’s hand to help her step out and then Joan held out her arm for Vera to grab on to. As they walked up to the front of the restaurant they were greeted by a tall man, so tall that he was even taller than Joan.

“Good Evening ladies! Do you have a resignation? If so, may I have a name?”

“Ah yes, Ferguson, Joan Ferguson.” Joan replied 

“Ok Mrs. and Mrs. Ferguson, right this way.” The Hostess had no idea that Joan and Vera weren't a couple let alone married.

“I- Um” Joan stammered. “We’re not-” Motioning her hand between her and Vera.

“That's the second time we’ve gotten that. Do we really strike everyone as a couple?” Vera laughed nervously.

“I am truly sorry, but you could have fooled me.” The hostess laughed 

“Not a problem.” Joan said with a smile

The hostess directed them to their table. Vera’s eyes lit up when she realized that they were going to have a table outside with an overlook on the beach. Joan watched as Vera's eyes lit up. Joan felt satisfaction knowing that she chose a good place for their lovely evening. 

As they got to their table all Joan could see was a huge grin on Vera’s face as she looked out at the beach.

“This truly is wonderful Joan. I love it! I never expected to be at such a lovely place.” Vera looked out at the beach in total awe.

“Well i'm truly glad you like it Vera. What are you planning on having?”

“I think i'll have the… Gado Gado salad!” Vera said in excitement. “Y’know they say it's pretty good.”

“I think i'll have the same. It's good to try new things!” 

They soon called for the waiter to come and take their order. Once they ordered it was no time before the waiter came back with their wine. Joan had made sure she got one Pinot for Vera and one Shiraz for herself. Vera blushed when she realized that Joan had ordered two separate wine bottles just to make sure that she had something she liked.

“You got them both!” 

Joan just answered with a smile and a nod

After a few minutes of Vera and Joan talking as they drank their wine the waiter came back with their food. 

“Hear you are ladies.” The waiter smiled

They both thanked the waiter. As the waiter walked off Vera picked up her fork and began eating her salad. She hadn't eaten lunch so she was practically starving. 

As she ate she saw that Joan was watching her devour her food. She froze and blushed. She proceeded to chew what was in her mouth and wipe her mouth with a napkin. “S-Sorry i haven't ea-” Vera said before Joan stopped her.

“Vera, don't be sorry you're clearly enjoying it.” Joan said with a chuckle.

Joan began to eat her food as Vera continued to eat hers. They exchanged glances a few times as they ate. 

“It is quite good, I have to say you made a good choice Vera.” 

“Why thank you Joan. I quite like it myself.” Vera said smiling as she began to finish her food.

Vera soon realized that Joan and her both had finished their food. 

“I'm going to go to the washroom. I'll be right back don't leave me now.” Vera joked

As Vera was walking away Joan couldn't help but stare at her behind. She loved how the black dress accentuated her curves and her arse. Still waiting on Vera to get back she called over a waiter to grab their empty plates. 

Vera was on her way back from the washroom when she was stopped by a man. The rather large man approached her and cornered her.

“What's a pretty lady like you doing over here all alone huh?” The man smelt of stale beer and cigarettes.

“I'm on my way back to my table can you please move.” Vera tried to push her way around him but he just pushed her right back into the corner.

“You're not going anywhere little lady, we’re gonna have some fun tonight.” The man took his hand and rubbed it up against Vera’s leg slowly making his way to her upper thigh. Vera was squirming but couldn't do anything as she was so small. This is a time that she cursed herself for being so small.

Vera, now terrified, tries to scream for Joan but the man quickly put his hand over her mouth muffling her scream. All of the sudden a man gets a tap on his shoulder which makes him turn around. In the quickness of him turning around Joan gave him a right hook right in his jaw. She hit him so hard that he shriveled to the ground. She knocked him out cold. Everyone in the restaurant gasped. 

Vera was still in slight shock as she ran to Joan and gave her a big hug holding her as tight as she could. Joan wasn't used to this kind of contact with anyone else but with Vera it felt right and in the moment she knew Vera needed it.

“Joan, I was so scared.” Tears started to build up as her vision got blurry she let out a sob. Joan hugged her back and held her close. With Veras heels on she was tall enough to lay her head on Joans shoulder. The two stood there for a few minutes just hugging as Vera cried on Joan’s shoulder making her mascara run. 

The cops came and arrested the man for sexual assault. Vera was relieved that Joan got there when she did who knows what may have happened. Vera didn't even want to think about what might have happened; she just wanted to leave.

“Come one lets get you home, it's been a long night.” Joan said 

On the way to Vera’s, Vera suddenly didn't want to go home. She wanted to go to Joan’s. She wanted to tell Joan but didn't know the best way so she just said the first thing that came to mind.

“Joan?”

“Yes?” Joan still looking forward at the road

“I don't want to go home.” Vera sighed 

Joan looked over at Vera with confusion.

“Well, would you like to come over to my house? I have a spare room.” Joan began to get butterflies thinking maybe that wasn't the answer Vera was looking for, or was it?

“I'd like that if you didn't mind. I just don't want to be alone tonight.” Vera gave a half smile.

“Of course.” Joan smiled back


	6. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joan and Vera have a sleepover XD

Once they were at Joan's house they walked in and Vera watched as Joan took off her shoes and placed them neatly on the shoe rack, Vera did the same. She wanted to make sure she didn't make Joan frustrated in any way. She was letting her stay at her house for goodness sake.

Joan motioned for Vera to go into the living room. “Go ahead and take a seat to make yourself comfortable. I'm going to grab a glass of wine. Would you like one?”

“Yes please” Vera answered

Joan got two glasses of wine and took them out to the living room along with the bottle just in case they were to have more than one glass. She walked back into the kitchen to grab a shot glass and vodka out of the freezer. Vera saw her grab the vodka.

“Can I have one too?” Joan smiled and grabbed two shot glasses before heading back into the living room where Vera was waiting. Joan poured two shots and Vera took hers and downed it immediately making a face. It was so cold and soothing yet warm going down her throat. Vera looked over at Joan who was smiling with raised eyebrows. This made Vera blush.

“Be careful Vera this is a lot stronger than wine.” Joan said downing her first shot. She poured another for them both. Vera couldn't help but smile at Joan's sentence.

“Thank you Joan, for this, for the drinks and letting me come here. I know you don't normally just let people in your house willingly.” Vera said this with sincerity 

Joan sat down on the opposite end of the couch which Vera was on. “Anytime Vera.” She reached over for her glass of wine and took a sip. She smiled when she saw Vera down her second shot and then go in for her wine.

They sat in silence for a few minutes just drinking their wine. Joan normally would like the silence but she was eager for Vera to talk. She wanted to know what was on Vera's mind.

“I think i'm a little tipsy.” Joan broke the silence

Vera snorted a laugh. “Me too. Thank you again Joan.” 

“For?” 

“I don't know what i would have done if you weren't there .” Vera's bottom lip started to quiver. “I don't know why I'm on the verge of tears.” She sniffled

Joan moved closer to Vera and put her hand on her small but muscular biceps. “It's ok Vera, you're safe now nothing can hurt you while i'm around. They will have to get through me first.” Joan felt Vera relax at her words.

“Shall we get you in bed you seem tired?” Joan put her glass down.

“Ye- Oh shit!” Vera placed her head in her hands

“What's wrong? Are you ok?” Joan was a slight bit worried.

“Yeah i'm fine, I Just... I didn't exactly come in the most comfortable sleepwear.” Vera said embarrassingly 

“I'm sure i can find something for you to wear.” Joan took the glasses into the kitchen and washed them thoroughly before drying them and placing them back where they belong, including putting the wine and vodka away. She went back into the living room and headed for the stairs.

“Come on let's find something for you to wear.” Joan smiled. Vera walked over and followed Joan upstairs. Joan was about to walk into her room when she realized that she had never let anyone into her room willingly before. She had never really even let people in her house unless it was to manipulate them. She knew that she hadn't let Vera into her house for any of those reasons she simply did it out of being kind. She bit back whatever fear she had about letting Vera in her room and opened the door with Vera not long behind her.

Altho Vera was a bit drunk she could tell Joan was hesitant about letting her in her room. This isn't normal behavior for Joan as she Normally shows no emotion. It all started to hit Vera.  _ Joan never shows this much emotion. Was she starting to let me in? Is she starting to trust me enough to see her emotions?  _ These thoughts flooded Vera's head as she entered the room.

Joan went over to her Wardrobe and picked out a large white t-shirt and a pair of shorts that were too small for herself. She knew that the t-shirt would be long enough to cover Vera but she wanted to make sure she was comfortable.

“Here you are. The shirt is going to be big on you. I hope you don't mind.” Joan smiled

“Nope, that's perfect. I prefer to sleep in big t-shirts anyway.” She took the clothes from Joan

“Your room is right across the hall you can change in there.” 

Vera smiled and before walking out she asked “Uh Joan?”

Joan looked up at Vera “Yes?”

“Could I take a shower?”

“Yes, the bathroom is the door right next to your room.” 

Vera smiled and thanked Joan as she exited Joan’s room. She entered the bathroom and turned on the shower. As she waited for the water to warm up she started to undress. She felt oddly comfortable despite being in Joan’s home. 

Joan waited to hear the shower turn on before she decided that she too was going to take a shower in her bathroom in her room. When she was done she

still heard the shower running in the other bathroom and then it stopped. Vera and Joan got done showers at basically the same time. 

Joan got out of the shower and dried off. She pulled on her robe and started to brush through her damp hair. After she was done in the bathroom she turned off all the lights and went to her bed. She didn't want it to be completely dark so she turned on her bedside light and grabbed a book to read before she went to bed.

Vera was now all dried off and dressed in Joan’s big t-shirt. She considered wearing the shorts but chose not to because she preferred to sleep with less on. As she left the bathroom she entered her room and got into the bed. The bed was soft and comfortable with silk sheets. Vera was about to shut the bedside lamp off when she heard a knock on the door. 

“Come in.” she said 

“Vera, I just wanted to make sure you found everything well and to say goodnight.” Joan smiled 

“I did thank you, goodnight to you too.” Vera smiled back

Joan left the room and proceeded to go to her room. She took off her robe and got into bed shutting off the bedside lamp.


	7. Chapter 7

_ “What's a petty girl like you doing out here all alone?”A large man said _

_ “I'm not alone, I'm here with someone now back off.” Vera tried to push him away but she found herself to have no strength. _

_ The man started to touch her breasts and move his hand up her dress. She tried to scream but nothing came out; she had no voice.  _

_ She hit the man repeatedly but her punches were doing nothing she couldn't get away.  _

_ She closed her eyes and opened them again. The man was still there and leaned in to kiss Vera when all the sudden… _

Vera quickly woke up and pulled herself into a sitting possession.  _ It was just a dream Vera, calm down.  _ She thought to herself. She looked around in confusion for a few seconds before she remembered that she was at Joan’s. She checked the clock and it was 3am. She decided to get up and make herself a glass of water. While she drank her water she went to the living room and was taking in her surroundings. She saw a picture of what looked to be Joan and her dad. Vera had not heard Joan talk about him much but she knew that he wasn't a very good parent much like her mother.

Vera cleaned out her cup and put it back. When she was headed upstairs she started to go back into her room until she wondered if Joan was awake. Vera walked over to Joans door and gently knocked on her door and whispered “Joan?” She heard slight stirring in her room before a voice called out.

“Yes?” Joan was still half asleep

“Can i come in?” Vera asked

Joan was hesitant at first but then she gave in. “Sure”

Vera walked into Joan's room and it was dark but her eyes soon adjusted to see Joan barley sit up in her bed. The moon light came through the window and landed on Joan. Vera could see she was holding the sheet up to her chest and she could see her bare shoulders. Vera knew she was naked in bed. Vera suddenly felt a sudden embarrassment. 

“What is it you need Vera?”

“Well I- I had a nightmare and I can't sleep. I was just wondering if you were up.” Vera peered through the darkness at Joan

“Well I am now, is there something I can get for you?”

“I was wondering if I could get in bed with you? It might help me sleep better. That is of course if you don't mind.” Vera had a shakiness to her voice

Joan didn't know how to answer this question. No one had ever asked her that before. Then again she never really slept or let anyone sleep in her house before.

“I suppose so but I have to put on some clothes. Sorry I sleep in the nude.” Joan said shyly. She started to ask Vera to leave so she could change before Vera stopped her.

“It's ok, I don't mind.” Vera was a little shy. Before Joan could say anything Vera took off her shirt and laid it on the ground. She was now naked with nothing on. Joans eyes widened as she saw Vera’s petite body. Altho it was dark in the room she could see what Vera was doing.

Vera walked over to the bed and slipped under the covers. Joan was confused on what to do. She had never been in an encounter like this.

“Vera, are you sure?”

“Joan if I wasn't sure I wouldn't be here, under the covers right now.”

Joan was tense. She laid back down with the covers pulled over her. They both laid there still as can be. The thought of Vera being in bed with Joan naked was overwhelming. Joan slowly started to relax. As soon as she relaxed she could feel Vera inching towards her. So close that their naked sides are touching. 

Vera turned on her side and wrapped her arm around Joans waist and rested her head on Joan's breasts. Joan could feel the younger woman's breath start to slow down and become more even and she drifted off to a deep sleep. Joan was still in shock before she realized that Vera was comfortable and so was she. It was odd being comfortable in this position but she liked it and didn't want it to end. 

She put her arm around Vera and pulled her closer. She began to run her fingers over Veras hairline and watched her as she slept. She saw how Vera was so peaceful as she slept. Her face was so soft and she could see how all her worries went away.

After watching Vera sleep for a bit she drifted off as well. She was so happy to be in this position that she went to bed with a smile on her face while cuddling Vera.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera confesses something to Joan

_ “You have NEVER cared about me!” Vera got up and stormed out the door _

_ “Vera, wait! Don't go! Come back.” Joan found herself running outside after Vera only to see Vera crying in her car.  _

Joan awoke from her dream a little startled. She looked over to the side of the bed that Vera should be on only to find the bed to be empty. She started to think last night was a dream and she didn't actually let Vera in her bed. She started to panic thinking that it was all just an illusion till she looked over and saw Vera coming out of the bathroom rubbing her eyes. She was still naked and Joan couldn't help but let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She was so thankful that last night wasn't a dream. 

“Good morning.” Vera stretched and yawned before walking over to the bed to get back in it. “Sorry if I woke you.” She snuggled up close to Joan and wrapped her hand around her waist and intertwined their legs. 

Joan was relieved and also a bit in shock. They did sleep naked together but she wasn't expecting Vera to crawl back in bed and snuggle her. “Did you sleep well?” Joan said while rubbing her arm.

“Mhm.” Vera nuzzled her chest. Vera liked the feeling of their skin to skin contact. “Can we sleep a little bit longer?” Vera squeezed Joan tighter.

“Whatever you would like _Myshka_.” Joan placed a kiss on her head.

Vera looked up at Joan with furrowed eyebrows. “What did you say?”

“ _Myshka_ , it's Russian for mouse. I'm sorry i shouldn't ha-”

“Shh its ok I quite liked it.” Vera gave Joan a smile and Joan returned it. “So I'm your little mouse.” Vera let out a giggle.

“Only if you're ok with it?”  _ She said MY little mouse. My myshka. She's mine. _

Vera met Joans eyes and looked at her and then her lips for a few seconds. She saw how Joan had a look in her eyes. A look of desire. She leaned in and their lips met. Soft warm lips. Vera found that Joans lips were much softer than she expected. 

Joan was stiff for a second before relaxing into the kiss. She cupped Veras cheeks to bring her closer. Vera kissed with passion and desire. She knew that the younger woman wanted this just as much as she did. The older woman gently rubbed her tongue on Veras lip searching for entrance. Vera allowed her to enter. Their tongues wrestle. Joan gently caressed Vera's side. 

Vera moaned into the deep and passionate kiss before pulling back. She pecked Joan on the lips again before settling back down to nuzzle Joan's full breasts. Joan groaned with the loss of Vera's sweet lips on hers.

“I wanna do this Joan I really do but i've never been with a woman before it’s gonna take some getting used to.” Vera pulled Joan closer if that was even possible and closed her eyes as Joan began to run her fingers through her hair.

“It's ok Vera I understand. We’ll take it as slow as you need it to be.” Joan knew Vera was nervous so she wanted to wait till the younger woman was ready.

“Thank you Joan.” Vera's words were slurring slightly as she fell back to sleep.

A few more hours went by. As Vera started to wake up again. She woke up and for a slight second she forgot she was in Joan's house. After remembering that she slept with Joan, she put her hand behind her to feel for Joan only to feel cold wrinkled covers. She let out a faint sigh before getting up.

The smaller woman walked over to the skirt that she had taken off the night before. She slipped on the oversized shirt and made her way to the bathroom. After relieving herself she walked over to the mirror. She took her hair and brushed it out with her fingers to get rid of some of the messiness. She couldn't help but be giddy just to be in Joan’s home and in her bathroom.

Vera made her way down stairs. On her way through the living room she could smell bacon and she could hear what sounded like Joan singing. As she got closed to the kitchen she saw Joan flawlessly moving around the kitchen while cooking and singing. 

“ _ And all the roads that lead you there are winding _

_ And all the lights that light the way are blinding _

_ There are many things that I Would like to say to you but I don't know how _

_ I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me _

_ And after all, you're my wonderwall” _

Vera slowly walked up behind Joan and gently snaked her arms around her waist and laid her head on Joan’s back. Joan jumped a little before leaning into the smaller

woman's touch. They started to sway back and forth to the music before it shut off and Joan turned around and brought Vera closer and kissed the crown of her head.

“Hello, sleepy head.” 

“What are you making?” Vera pulled back to look into Joan’s eyes.

“Just some bacon and eggs. Is that ok with you?” Joan lifted up her hand to brush a piece of Vera's hair behind her ear.

“That's perfect, I'm starving.” Vera gave a big smile.

“Go sit at the table. The food is almost done. I'll bring you a coffee while you wait.” Joan gently tapped Vera on the bum as she walked over to the table.

Joan walked over to grab the coffee. She added two sugars and a bit of creme just how Vera liked it. As she walked back over to the table she saw that Vera was sitting with her legs crossed. All she had on was the long t-shirt Joan had given her the night before. She didn't even have underwear on from the looks of it.

She sat the coffee down in front of Vera. The older woman decided to walk a little closer to Vera. As she walked closer she took her hand and rubbed it up the younger woman's thigh gently caressing it as she leaned down to kiss the younger woman deeply.

Vera smiled and sighed into the kiss. She had never felt so good when kissing someone before. Granite she had never really been with many people in her life. Whenever she kissed Joan it was sweet and slow, not like when she kissed Fletch. His kisses were always wet and sloppy which turned her off immensely. 

Joan pulled away to go check on the food. 

“I see you decided to go commando today.” Joan looked over and gave Vera a smirk

“My clothes are in the bin and I didn't bring an extra pair.” Vera suddenly felt embarrassed

Joan could see the embarrassment reaching the younger woman's ears. “Don't be embarrassed Vera. I like that you're comfortable enough around me to do so.” She smiled at Vera as she made their plates.

Joan walked over to the table and placed Vera's plate down and then her own before sitting down. They both began eating in silence. The silence had a slight bit of tension in it until Vera spoke up.

“Joan?” Vera paused as she looked into Joan’s dark eyes

“Yes?” Joan answered as she looked for some emotion in Vera's eyes. All she could see was what looked to be sadness.

“What are we? As in terms of our relationship?” Vera suddenly felt sick waiting for Joans response.

Joan looked at Vera with surprise. She didn't know what Vera had been planning on asking but she didn't expect it to be that. Normally Joan would have the answer to a question in the matter of seconds but she wasn't quite sure she had the answer Vera wanted to hear. While she wanted to keep Vera in her life she just wasn't sure if she could commit to a relationship just yet. The incident with Jianna really tore her up and she never thought that she could love again.

Vera really brought out the heart in Joan. Most of the time Joan felt weird being able to express her feelings towards her. And the fact that she knew Vera was being genuine towards her made her feel good inside. 

“Vera,” Joan paused for a moment to look Vera deep into her blue eyes. “I have never had a proper relationship… not since-” Joan trailed off and broke eye contact with Vera. “It wasn't even a proper relationship. It should have never happened. I promised her I would protect her and something bad happened and I've been broken ever since. My father always told me that I wasn't capable of being loved by anyone and well that's all i've known so I find it to be true.” Joan had a small tear going down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. She can't be seen this vulnerable in front of anyone.

“Oh Joan, I love you.” Vera couldn't believe she actually said that but she knew that she did love Joan. Rather it be a friendship love or not she still loved Joan with everything she had. She got up from her seat and went over to Joan to try to comfort her.

Joan backed away from Vera’s touch.”You need to leave now!” Joan pointed to the door. 

“Joan-” Vera tried to place her hand on Joan shoulder

“NOW!” Joan yelled and pushed Vera away

Vera jumped from how loud Joan yelled. She was a little surprised when Joan pushed her. Her eyes were full of tears as she looked at Joan before turning around and running upstairs to grab the shorts Joan had given her the night before. She quickly put on the shorts and ran back down stairs to put on her shoes. Vera looked back at Joan once more with tears running down her cheeks before she walked out the door.

Vera ran to her car and sped off. She cried the whole way home. She wondered what she did wrong. Was it because she said she loved Joan? She couldn't figure out why Joan had kicked her out the way she did.

Joan sat at her kitchen table replaying Vera’s crying face in her head. Normally she would feel joy for hurting others but she just felt sad for the way she made Vera feel. In fact she felt terrible. She didn't want Vera to leave but she was startled by the fact that the smaller woman said that she loved her. No one had ever said that to Joan and truly meant it. She could tell Vera meant what she said and it made Joan nervous so she lashed out. She didn't actually want her deputy to leave.

Joan started to feel sad for what she had done and she started to cry silently. Silent weeps turned into long loud sobs as she realized that she had messed up. She didn't know if she could ever get Vera to forgive her. She would talk to Vera tomorrow at work to try and explain herself.


	9. Don't leave me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was she too late? 
> 
> WARNING: Mention of a suicide attempt is in this chapter so if your not comfortable with that than i suggest you not read it!!

Joan woke up in her bed and frowned when the opposite side of the bed was empty. She grabbed the pillow that Vera had used the night before and hugged it. She could pick up a slight scent of Vera on the pillow. She shed a small tear thinking about how she made Vera feel. After wiping the tear away she got up to get ready for the day. She was determined to tell Vera that she was extremely sorry and would do anything to make it up to her. 

After Joan was ready she headed downstairs to grab her bag and she went out the door to make her way to her car. Once in her car she drove off and made her way to Wentworth. The whole ride there she couldn't help but think about Vera and what the day may bring. She looked at the time it was 7am. That gave her plenty of time to go to the coffee shop and pick up two coffees and a couple of donuts and still be at work before Vera did.

Once she arrived at Wentworth with the coffee and donuts she waited in her car for a few minutes till Vera would arrive. It was 7:28 am and Vera normally arrived at work at 7:30am exactly. A few minutes went by and the Governor started to get frustrated that Vera was not on time like she normally was. The Governor didn't want to wait any longer so she just went inside and checked in taking the coffee and donuts with her. 

“Would you like any extra help today Governor?” Will asked 

Joan turned around and was confused by the question. “No, why would I?”

“Because Ms.Bennet called out of work today I just thought maybe you would want some help.”

“I see. Well I'm going to need to leave at lunch time today, would you be able to look after the prison for the rest of the day?” Joan was unhappy with Vera for not coming to work but she could understand why she wouldn't.

“Yes Gov’na” Will replied

Joan walked down the corridors and then into her office where Linda Miles was waiting with boomer. Joan nodded at Linda and opened her door to let boomer in.

“Good morning Jenkins.” Joan said in a low and unenthusiastic tone.

“Mornin Gov’na.” 

Joan sat down at her desk with the box of donuts and coffee in front of her. 

“Who else were you expecting to have donuts with Gov’na?” Jenkins asked

“What?” Joan snapped 

“Well you have two cups of coffee. Obviously you weren't going to drink two of them yourself.”

“What is it you've come to see me for Jenkins?” Joan now feeling irritated with Boomers questions 

“Well me and the other girls were wondering if you could bring the basketball back? Since last week we have not been fightin or nothin.” 

“That's because you have nothing to fight over when there is no basketball Jenkins! But I will think about it. Is that all?” The Governor added

“Yes Guv’na.” Jenkins started to get up and head over to the door. 

“Jenkins, come here.”

Boomer walked back over to the Governor's desk and was a little weary of what the Governor wanted. 

“Take this and take these. Share them with your cell mates or eat them yourself. I don't care, just get them out of here.” Joan handed Boomer both coffee and the box of donuts.

“Thanks Gov’na.” Boomer said with a big smile. She walked out with a box of donuts and two coffees

When lunch time came around Joan picked up her things and headed to sign herself out for the day. She saw Will before she left the prison.

“I trust you can handle the prison while I'm gone?” 

Will nodded and waved goodbye to Joan as she walked out of the prison.

Joan made her way to her car and then left the prison's premises. She made her way home so she could change into something simpler. She chose a deep green shirt black slacks and a black cardigan. She pulled her hair into a low ponytail and before she left her home she went out into her back yard and picked a rose for Vera. After picking the perfect rose for Vera she made her way back through her house and outside to get into her car.

As she made her way to Vera's house Joan started to have an uneasy feeling. She hopes that Vera is ok and not hurt and that she just didn't want to come to work. Another part of Joan feels like Vera hates her and doesn't want to see her. To be fair she could understand why.

As Joan made her way closer to Vera’s house she got a phone call. She was still driving so she didn’t make an effort to see who was calling. Vera's house was now in view and Joan saw her car in the driveway. This meant Vera was home. Joan pulled in the driveway and was about to get out of her car before she checked her phone to see who called. It was Vera who called only 10 minutes earlier. Joan decided that she wasn't going to call Vera back, she was just going to surprise her.

Joan got out of her car and made her way up to Vera's front door. Before she knocked she smoothed out her shirt and held the rose she picked for Vera behind her back. She knocked twice waiting for an answer.  _ Nothing _ . She knocked again and still  _ Nothing. _ Normally Vera would answer the door right away. Maybe she was sleeping. Joan bent down to grab the spare key from under the flower pot on Vera's front step. Vera had told Joan where it was incase of emergencies. Joan unlocked the door and walked into Vera’s home.

Joan looked around and it was dark. All the curtains were shut and the only light in the room was the sun shining through the cracks of the curtains. Joan saw an empty bottle of wine on the coffee table along with an empty wine glass and a shot glass. Joan looked at the couch and it looked like Vera had spent the night in the living room getting drunk. Joan began to worry.

“Vera!” Joan called out thinking maybe the smaller woman would call out to her.

Joan called out again to hear nothing. Joan sat in full panic mode as she set down the hall to look for Vera. She looked everywhere down stairs to find nothing. There was only one place left to look. Upstairs. Joan ran upstairs and the closer she got to Vera's bedroom she could hear bath water running. Joan became less stressed.  _ Vera is just taking a bath that's why she didn't hear me or call out.  _ Joan entered Vera's room and went over to the bathroom to knock on the door to try and tell Vera that she was in her house so she did not freak out too much. She knocked and heard nothing but bath water. 

“Vera? It's Joan.” She still heard nothing. She knocked harder this time. “Vera!” 

Joan’s panic set in again. She didn't know if Vera just couldn't hear her or what was going on. Joan opened the bathroom door and looked over to the tub to see Vera fully clothed in red water practically overflowing the tub. Vera's left arm was hung over the side of the bath with a razor in her hand and her right arm was in the tub her wrists were slit. 

“VERA! VERA WAKE UP!” Joan screamed in horror. She quickly turned off the water and checked Veras pulse. It was extremely faint but it was there. She quickly picked Vera up out of the tub not even worrying about getting wet and carried her to her bed. She ran back to the bathroom to grab a small towel to place on the smaller woman's wrists to suppress the bleeding. 

Joan quickly grabbed Vera's phone that was on her night stand and saw that her own number was pulled up. Joan broke out in tears.  _ Why didn’t I answer the phone!  _ Joan thought to herself as she wept. She quickly dialed triple zero and told them to bring an ambulance as quick as possible. As she got off the phone Vera started to stir a little bit and Joan noticed. She walked over and brushed a lock of Vera’s wet hair behind her ear.

“Stay with me  _ Myshka.  _ Help is on the way. Just stay with me ok.” Joan was now overcome with emotion. She didn't want to lose Vera. Vera is the greatest thing that's ever happened to Joan. Joan was terrified that she would never see the light in the younger woman's eyes again. Joan continued to rub Vera's forehead as she waited for the ambulance. 

Thankfully the hospital was only a few miles away so within the matter of minutes she could hear sirens. 

“Come on Vera, we need you to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Don't leave me.” She picked the younger woman’s small limp body up and started to walk through the house and out the front door. She made sure that she shut it behind her. By the time she got outside the ambulance was already there. She quickly walked over and placed Vera on the stretcher. As the paramedics put Vera in the back of the ambulance Joan tried to get in with her until a man stopped her. 

“Ma’am, Im sorry but you can't come.”

“What! Are you kidding me?” Joan was frustrated but didn't want to wait any longer to get Vera to the hospital so she quickly went to her car and waited for the paramedics to leave before following behind them. It was only a short distance to the hospital but it felt.

like it took hours to get there. The whole ride Joan was panicking and worrying if Vera was alright. Suddenly she felt an urge to see if vera had left a voicemail. She picked up her phine and vera indeed left one. Joan hesitated over the play button before finally pressing it.

" _Im sorry Joan, Im so sorry. I love you so much. i just cant take the pain anymore." Vera sobbed before hanging up the phone._

Joan started to burst out in fresh tears "Oh Vera what have i done. Im so sorry." Joan said aloud

As she followed the ambulance to the hospital they pulled into the emergency entrance while Joan went to find the nearest parking place. As she found her spot she quickly got out and made her way to the front doors where they took Vera in. Joan asked the nurse what was going on and the nurse said that they had to take Vera to surgery immediately because the cuts were so deep they seeded stitches. Joan asked when she could see Vera and the nurse told her that she could see her after she was out of surgery.

Joan walked over to the waiting room and sat down. She didn't necessarily want to be here but she wasn't going to leave till Vera was safe no matter how long it takes.


	10. Chapter 10

Joan sat patiently in the waiting room for two hours. She was starting to get worried so she got up and made her way over to the nurse at the front desk again. Before she could speak a doctor came out of two doors. Joan quickly turned her head as she noticed that was the same doctor that was working on Vera. Joan walked up to the man as he began to speak.

“Hello,” He said with a smile. “Ms.Bennett is out of surgery and she is recovering well. You can see her now. But you may only see her if you are in relation to her.” 

“I’m her wife.” Joan blurted out without realizing. She didn't care what she said as long as she got to see Vera.

“Alrighty then just come with me.” The doctor headed back through the doors with Joan following soon behind him. Joan followed the doctor all the way down a halfway and then to the left before they entered a room.

“I should just tell you that she is still recovering from anesthesia so she will be a bit groggy if she wakes up.” The doctor told Joan 

Joan nodded before they entered the room. Joan saw Vera laying on the bed. Her wrists were all wrapped up in gauzed from where she cut herself. Her hair was frizzy and she was in a hospital gown. Joan felt so bad that Vera was in this situation. Joan knew that she was the main cause of this. She knew that if she had never told Vera to leave her house then maybe she would be at home cuddling with Vera right now. 

Joan pulled up a chair to sit beside Vera. She got as close as she could to the side of the hospital bed. She sat down and reached out for Veras hand to hold it. She gently caressed her hand and started crying.

“I'm so sorry myshka. It's all my fault.” Joan brought her head to the younger woman's hand. Joan kissed Vera's hand and leaned back into the chair and made herself comfortable. She made sure she still had a hold of Vera's hand. She knew she was going to be there for a while till Vera woke up.

After about 20 minutes Joan started to get hungry. She quickly pushed that feeling down because she didn't want to leave Vera's side till she woke up. After pushing her hunger pains away she grew tired. Her eyelids became heavy as she drifted off into a deep sleep. 

Nearly an hour later Vera started to stir. She slowly opened her eyes and felt something on her hand. She looked over and saw Joan sleeping next to her in the chair. All of the sudden she felt a flood of sadness. She could feel tears running down her cheeks. She silently wept until she couldn't anymore and begin sobbing.

Joan I woke to the sound of Vera crying. She looked over at Vera to see that the opposite hand that she wasn't holding up to her face. Joan gently gave Vera's hand a slight squeeze. Vera looked up at Joan to see that the older woman was awake. 

“I'm sorry, Joan.” Vera was still in tears. 

“No, no” Joan sat up in her chair and came close to the younger woman. “Don't apologize Vera your safe now that's all that matters to me.” Joan leaned up to give Vera a kiss on the forehead. As she did this she felt a sick feeling and began crying.

“What's wrong Joan?” Vera wiped away some tears

“I- I thought” Joans breath hitched as she let out a sob. “I thought I was gonna lose you Vera.” Joan leaned down to give Vera a hug. She stayed in Vera's arms for a few minutes as she cried.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you Joan.” Vera now felt heart broken.

“I know.” Joan Lifted from the hug and gave Vera a slight happy but also sad smile. Joan sniffled and wiped the tears away from her face so no one else would see her like this. 

“I have something for you.” Joan said smiling with dried tears on her cheeks. 

Joan reached over to her bag and pulled out a single rose. She smiled as she handed it to Vera. “I came to your house to give this to you before I found you.” Joan now looked away and frowned.

“Vera about the other-” 

“I love it Joan thank you! And I'm sorry I upset you. I should have never expressed my feelings towards you.” Vera gave a slight face of worry.

“No Vera, that's what i'm saying. We need to talk about that. Well I need to anyway.” Joan stopped to draw a quick breath in and closed her eyes. She let out the breath and opened her eyes to look into Veras. 

“I love you too Vera.” Joan couldn't do much but smile. Veras eyes lit up with joy.

“Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you into doing anything.” Vera said 

“Vera I haven't been able to get you off my mind since the very day I met you. After we started to socialize more, the more I fell for you. The night at my house was the night I realized that I was in love with you. It scared me to admit that and when you said you loved me I couldn't handle it. It scared me even more. But after seeing you the way I found you and having the thought crossed my mind that I might lose you almost broke me. That's when I knew I really loved you Vera.” Joan looked at Vera who looked at her on the verge of tears.

Vera put her arms out like a toddler reaching up to be held. Joan went to Vera and gave her a big hug and pulled away to kiss her with every desire she had within her. Joan pulled away from the kiss to look into her eyes.

“Don't ever do that to me again. I- I thought I lost you.” Joan was choking back tears as Vera pulled her in for another hug.

“I won't Joan, I promise.” The smaller woman nuzzled into the crook of the taller woman’s neck inhaling the fresh clean scent. 

A doctor entered the room. The women immediately turned their attention to him eager to listen to what he had to say.

“Sorry for intruding.” The doctor looked over to Joan with a smile. “Ok Mrs. Bennett I have the discharge papers here. You just need to sign them and it states in the papers that Mrs. Bennett,” He stops to look at Vera who has a surprised look on her face. “will need to be on suicide watch. So i trust that you will be able to look after her?”

Vera looks at Joan trying to suppress a grin from forming. Joan looks back and smirks followed by a wink as she signs the papers and gives them back to the doctor.

“Yes I can manage that.” Joan answers the doctor's question.

“Alrighty then, I'll leave you lady's to it.” The Doctor exits.

“Joan!” Vera lets out a laugh that she had been holding in.

“They wouldn't let me back here unless I was immediate family so… I told them we were married.” Joan had hoped that she didn't make Vera upset. 

“Oh Joan! I love you. You would do anything for me it seems.” Vera hid a shy smile.

“Yes, I would do anything for you  _ myshka.  _ And I love you to more than words could describe.” Joan leaned over to place a kiss on Vera's forehead. “Now let's get you home. What do you say, hmm?”

Vera looked at Joan and furrowed her eyebrows. Joan noticed.

“What's wrong?”

“You said home?” Veras voice was low and quiet

Joan reached over to grab Veras hand and interlace their fingers “Yes Vera, my home is your home. No matter the circumstance.” 

Vera smiled and squeezed Joans hand. 

“You know I like the idea of being married. Especially being married to someone like you. Would you ever get married, Joan?” 

“Perhaps.” Joan flashed Vera a kind smile showing that she was sincere. She picked up Vera's hand and hissed her knuckles before she helped Vera get dressed before they made there leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the last chapter to this fict. It still has potential so if you guys want I will continue. I hope you Enjoyed it! :) BTW sorry not all the chapters have summary's or titles i'm bad with that stuff:/


	11. Chapter 11

It had been a week since Vera had been in the hospital. She had been at Joan’s ever since. For the first three days after the younger woman had been released from the hospital Joan had been at her side at all times. She took a 3 day leave out of work just to make sure she was there for Vera. That was something she would never do for someone else. She couldn't remember the last time she even spent a day away from work to meet her own needs.

Vera had now made herself so at home that she even has her own delicate drawer in Joan’s bedroom. She has her own toothbrush in the bathroom. Vera even got Joan to grab her favorite pillow from her house so that she was more comfortable. 

Vera was finding it easy to stay at Joan’s. The older woman made her feel safe and comforted. A Lot of people see Joan as a monster but they have never seen the side of Joan that Vera sees. The side of Joan that is kind and gentle while changing the bandages on Vera’s wrists. The side that is caring enough to bring Vera breakfast in bed. The side that gives Vera her space if she needs it. And most importantly the side of Joan that has never pressured Vera into anything she doesn't feel comfortable with. That is the Joan that Vera has come to know and Love. The side of Joan that Vera wants to see every day and spend the rest of her life with.

Vera looked over at the clock on the bedside table. It was 9:30am. Joan would be home at 7pm. This gave Vera plenty of time to run to the store and grab what she needed for tonight when Joan got home. 

Finally after making sure she was going to have plenty of time Vera got out of bed and took a shower. Vera preferred not to take showers because of her wrists but she didn't have time for a bath. 

After her shower she changed her bandages. Normally Joan did this when she got home but Vera would have to manage for now. After Vera was dressed she made the bed. Since she had been at Joan's she had picked up on some “rules” that Joan had around the house and how clean she liked things to be. One of those things being the bed, Joan always had a certain way of making the bed and Vera picked up on this so she knew how to do it herself. After making the bed Vera made her way downstairs.

Downstairs in the kitchen Vera was making herself a bowl wheat cereal. This was her go to breakfast when she wasn't in the mood for cooking. That wasn't the case this morning but she had no time to cook, she needed to get going. 

After eating she went over to the front door, slipped on her shoes and grabbed her keys. Vera considered calling an Uber because Joan didn't want her to be driving yet but she felt like she could do it. Walking out to the car she slipped in the front seat, adjusted her mirrors and made her way to the nearest strip mall. 

On the way to the strip mall Vera found that she missed driving. It was one of the things she used to do to relieve some stress. She also liked to Listen to music while she drove so she turned on the radio and the first song that came on was Stronger By Kelly Clarkson one of her favorite songs. She couldn't help but turn up the volume and start singing.

_ “ _ _ What doesn't kill you makes you stronger _

_ Stand a little taller _

_ Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone _

_ What doesn't kill you makes a fighter _

_ Footsteps even lighter _

_ Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone” _

She kept singing till the song was over and by the time the song was over she was pulling into the strip mall. She found a parking place that was closest to “Your pleasure palace” A lingerie store. Vera was nervous because she never bought things like this before but tonight was a special night and Vera wanted it to be perfect. As Vera walked up to the store she took a deep breath before entering. When she entered all she could see was sexy nightwear and underwear. Before she even got a chance to take everything in a woman approached her. 

“Hello Ma’am, is there anything I can help you with?”

“Uh, yes could you help me find something for me to wear for my partner?” As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted them 

“Yes of course. If you come over here you'll see that we have some sets that you could look at or you could look at the silk sleepwear. What does he like?”

“Well I'm not entirely sure what She prefers. We've never done this before.” Vera made sure she emphasized that her partner was a Woman.

“I see, well how about you look around and if you see anything like you just call me over and we can take you into a fitting room to see how it fits.” The lady said with a smile

Vera watched as the lady walked away. She wasn't quite sure what Joan would like but there were a few things that caught her eye. She went over to a light pink lace bra and pantie set. She grabbed it but out of the corner of her eye she saw a sheer mesh cover up that was the same color as the pantie set. She grabbed that too. Vera also grabbed a cream silk nightie and made her way over to the lady at the desk. 

“I’d like to try these please.” Vera asked the lady at the front desk

“Of course right this way.” The lady led Vera to a room in the back meant for changing.

When Vera got into the room she hesitantly took off her top along with her bra. When she grabbed the Bra and pantie set she grabbed a size below what she would normally get because she heard that it would make her look more full. So when she tried on the bra it was surprisingly comfortable. When she turned to look into the mirror she almost gasped. Her bosom looked big, bigger than normal. It was exciting. She immediately knew that she was going to buy everything. She already knew that she was going to fit the silk nightie and the mesh cover up so she put her clothes back on and exited the room.

“Thank you, I'll take it all.”

“I'm glad you found everything to your needs.” 

As the lady was walking Vera back up to the register another set caught Vera's eye. It was a red lace bra and pantie set. It was just Joans size too. Vera smirked to herself. She walked over and picked the set out along with another black silk nightie for Joan. Black and red were Joan's colors especially red it suited her pale skin.

She walked back to the register and placed everything on the counter. As the lady was wringing everything up Vera stopped her at Joan's things.

“Could you put that in a gift box please?” 

“Of course! What color ribbon would you like?” The lady held up an assortment of colors.

“Red please.” Vera chose

Once everything was rung up Vera paid. She spent way more than she was expecting but it was definitely worth it. As she made her way back to her car hands full of backs she checked the time it was 12pm. She had spent 2 hours in the store! She quickly put the back and walked to the next store. Bath and Body works. She just needed some candles and bubble bath from there and she could finally make her next stop of the day.

As she was leaving the strip mall she made her way a few miles down the road to the flower shop. When she got there she picked up a dozen red roses and a bag of pink and red petals mixed. Vera once again made her way out to the car and put everything in the back seat. 

After she left the flower shop she went to the wine shop and picked up two bottles of shiraz and two bottles of pinot. With that concluding her shopping of the day she made her way back to Joan’s. 

When she finally made it back to Joan’s she unloaded the car and took everything inside. Vera checked the clock and it was 3pm that gave her four hours to set up. Before she did anything though she went upstairs to take another shower. After taking a shower she put on sweatpants and a t-shirt until she was ready to change into what she bought.

Vera went over to the rose petals and began to make a trail from the door all the way up the stairs and into the bedroom. She put a bunch of petals on the bed and went to grab the candles from downstairs along with the dozen roses. She placed two large candles on the dresser and a few small ones around the room. She placed the roses on the bed and then made her way back downstairs. She grabbed a bottle of shiraz and a bottle of pinot and grabbed a bucket of ice and placed them in the bucket and took that upstairs also. 

Once she was done setting everything up she realized that Joan would be home in 30 minutes so she quickly grabbed her lingerie and headed upstairs. She lit the candles when she got in the room. From the bag she pulled out Joan’s box and placed it on the bed along with the flowers and started to change. As she put on the bra and panties she admired herself in the mirror. She honestly didn't think she would ever see herself in something like this but if she was honest she loved it and she knew Joan would too. She grabbed the matching mesh cover up and put it on. After she pulled down her robe and slipped it on. She was going to do something with her hair but she decided to leave it down. Joan always did like when her hair was down. 

Joan would be home any minute so she went over the bedroom again to make sure it was perfect and dimmed the light to just above dark. She made her way down stairs to check that everything was still good and she dimmed the lights again. She walked over to the radio and plugged in her phone and played soft music. Just as she was about to sit down she heard the key click in the door and then it opened and closed.

“Vera?” Vera heard Joan call out in confusion obviously due to the setting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :/ Sorry I haven't updated in a while I honestly didn't think I was going to update this Fict but a lot of people asked me to so I will continue to update :) next chapter will be good hopefully XD


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this chapter has smut. I know I know it was long over due but I'm really knew to writing and I've never written smut before so its a new experience for me and if its bad Ughhhh I'm sorry😭 Constructive criticism is welcome! :)

It was just another ordinary workday for Joan. Dealing with prisoners that acted worse than middle schoolers. Joan had never been around middle schoolers but she could probably bet money that there were some similarities to the two. 

Joan was signing out for the day. She could finally breathe without someone knocking on her door or following her around the halls. She needed some time to relax. She just wanted to go home and take a nap. Maybe cuddle a little with Vera.

Vera. Vera had been at Joans for a while now. Joan liked the company of Vera in her home. Being able to come home to a house with a beautiful woman waiting inside was a delight. Joan didn't really know what her and Vera were but they often shared kisses and little “I love you’s” but they had never been intimate. Joan had told Vera that they never had to do anything that she didn't want or didn’t feel comfortable with so most of the time they just shared little kisses. Joan wanted so badly to be intimate with Vera but if that wasn't something she desired then Joan wasn't going to push it.

On Joan’s way home all she could think about was Vera. She had grown accustomed to coming home to Vera and not too long from now Vera’s “suicide watch” would be over meaning she would have to go home. As much as Joan loved her home when she was

alone she now loves it even more with Vera staying inside. Sometimes Joan even believes that she could live with Vera. Permanently. 

As Joan’s thoughts of Vera shifted she got closer to her house. It was dark out. 6:55pm.

Joan pulled into the driveway and started to gather her things. When she looked up to the house she could see that the lights looked to be on the dim setting. She furrowed her brow and got out of the car. As she walked up to the door to unlock it she noticed the lights were indeed on the dim lighting. When she opened the door her eyes adjusted to her surroundings and she noticed rose petals and candles leading from the entrance all the way up the stairs.  _ What on earth? _

“Vera?”

Vera came from around the corner with a soft yet sheepish smile.

“Welcome home Governor.” Vera said as she walked closer to Joan to pull her into the same hug she received every time she got home.

Joan wrapped her arms around Vera and leaned down to kiss the crown of her head and breath in her shampoo.

“What's all this?” Joan asked 

“Just a surprise. I know you had a long day at work and i just wanted to make you comfortable when you got home.”

Joan pulled back from the hug slightly to look Vera in her eyes. Her brow furrowed in confusion to just now noticing Vera was in a robe. Joan tugged on the collar of the robe.

“What's this for?” Joan asked 

“You'll see, follow me.” Vera took her hand and began to lead Joan upstairs before Joan stopped her. She let out a small laugh

“Hold on Vera, let me take off my heels and my blazer.” 

Vera paused and waited for Joan to remove her shoes, not letting go other hand until she needed to take off her blazer. After Joan took off her blazer she put her hand back out for Vera to lead her.

“Ok lead the way.” Joan sent Vera a genuine grin which Vera returned.

Vera led the way all the way to the top of the steps and then stopped in front of the bedroom door. Looking back at Joan. Joan raised an eyebrow in question. Vera smiled and opened the door to the room revealing her handy work from only an hour ago.

Joan looked around mesmerized. Vera made the room look so romantic almost as if she wanted to…

“Vera what is this for?” She turned to Vera. Before Vera could give a verbal answer she cupped Joan’s face and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Joan almost pulled away before she felt how much love Vera was showing. Vera pulled away catching her breath and when she did Joan tried to follow but soon realized that Vera was wanting to say something. 

“Make love to me Joan. Please.” She whispered against Joans lips.

“Are you sure Vera?” 

Vera nodded and Joan could see the lust in her eyes. Joan wasted no time before she gently cupped Vera’s legs and picked her up until her legs were wrapped around Joan’s waist. Vera let out a small squeal and then a giggle that Joan muffled with a sloppy but passionate kiss. Joan walked them both over to the bed that was dusted with rose petals. A box sits on the bed with a bouquet of roses on top. Joan reluctantly pulled away from the kiss.

“As much as I appreciate your work with the rose petals and how carefully you've set everything up I'm going to have to move it. Also i'm going to open that box later if that's ok?” 

Vera could only nod. Joan pulled herself from a very flustered Vera and then picked up the box and flowers and laid them on the dresser along with wiping off some of the petals from the bed. She walked back to Vera to see the robe that she was wearing had come slightly open revealing the strap and the top of what looked like pink sexy delicates. She walked back over and slowly pushed Vera to lay down on the bed. As Vera laid down on the bed Joan took the chance to straddle Vera. She leaned down and kissed Vera hard. It wasn't like the other kisses they had. It was sloppy and demanding. Joan pulled away once again but this time she pulled away only to kiss the

corner of Vera’s mouth and then her jaw and down to the sensitive flesh of Vera’s throat in response Vera let out a small whimper. Joan moved up to Vera's ear and kissed it softly. 

“What’s under this?” Joan whispered huskily in Vera’s ear and ran her hand over Vera’s side all the way down to the trim of the robe which was right above Vera’s knee. She ran her hand just barely under the trim of the robe and felt Vera's thigh quiver. She darted her tongue out and licked the shell of Vera’s ear. “Hm?”

“I guess you'll just have to find out,  _ Governor _ .” Vera said seductively, matching Joans energy.

Joan felt her clit jolt in the use of her formal title. She growled and sank her teeth into Vera's neck releasing a whimper along with a low and throaty groan from Vera. She kissed and licked the bite mark to relieve some of the pain knowing that there will be a mark there later. Joan sat up and looked Vera in the eye. She lifted up enough to where she was now straddling one of Vera’s thighs and giving her the opportunity to push her knee against Vera’s sex. Vera gasped as Joan rubbed her with her knee. She could feel the warmth of Vera’s cunt through the robe. 

She couldn't wait any longer. She had to see Vera. She ripped open the robe and revealed a mesh cover up over a sexy pink lace bra and pantie set. She pulled the mesh cover up over Vera’s head. It's not that she couldn't see Vera through it but she wanted to have Vera as naked as possible in this moment. After she pulled off the cover up all she could do was stare at Vera's chest. Joan was breathless. She had seen Vera’s chest before but never like this. She brought her hands up to touch Veras full breasts but hesitated before cupping them. They were soft and so full, she could feel Vera’s hardened nipples through her bra. 

“You wore this for me?” Joan had a seductive grin on her face.

Vera nodded. Joan could see the blush rise to Vera's cheeks even in the dim light. Vera pulled her hands up to her face in embarrassment. Joan furrowed her brows and pulled Vera’s hands away from her face and gently kissed Vera’s wrists.

“You’re beautiful.” Joan smiled. “Now let's see how far that blush goes, hm?” Joan arched an eyebrow and one side of her mouth quirked up in a smirk. Joan slowly kissed down Vera’s arm and to her shoulder causing her knee to press against Vera’s cunt again. Vera let out a soft whimper.

“Please.” Vera said breathlessly. “Take these off?”

Joan soon realized that Vera was gripping what little fabric she could, of Joans trousers. Normally Joan preferred to be clothed during sex. It gave her a sense of power but in this instance she wanted to feel Vera’s skin against her own. She quickly undid the buttons on her trousers and lifted up from Vera’s thigh enough to quickly take them off. She settled herself back on Vera’s thigh and started on her shirt. In no time she was straddling Vera’s thigh in only her bra and panties. She was wearing a black bra that gave off the perfect amount of cleavage along with a pair of simple black panties. 

Joan saw Vera’s tongue dart out and lick her bottom lip and she felt Vera push herself against Joan’s knee. Joan could tell that it was killing Vera that she wasn't being touched. 

“Is there something you want Vera?” Joan looked down at Vera

“Please touch me.” Vera whined 

“Where?” Joan cocked her head with a smirk

Vera couldn't find any words so she grabbed Joan’s hand and brought it to her breast. Joan gladly complied. She leaned down to kiss Vera deeply.Their tongues clashed together with fierce movements. Joan massaged Vera’s breasts with both hands making Vera moan in her mouth. Joan needed more. She continued to kiss Vera as she ran her hands up to Vera’s shoulders and ran her fingers under the straps slowly guiding them down her arms. Joan broke the kiss to place kisses on Vera’s collarbone all the way to her bare shoulder. She slowly reached around to the back of the bra and unclipped the clasp revealing perfect round breasts with hard pink buds. She had to taste them. She leaned down and took a perfect breast into her wanting mouth. Vera arched her back and moaned softly. She pushed herself more against Joan’s knee as Joan grinded against her. Before she knew it Vera was unclipping her bra and kneading her breasts. Joan pulled away from Vera’s breast and arched her back into Vera’s hands.

“Vera, I need to taste you.” Joan said breathlessly 

“Please.” Is all Vera could say and that's all the confirmation that Joan needed.

Joan moved up and kissed Vera hard. She pulled away and left a trail of kisses down Vera’s chest. She darted her tongue out to lick each nipple and Vera gasped in return. She made her way back down Vera’s stomach leaving kisses along the way. When she reached her navel she darted her tongue out quickly making Vera quiver. She went further down until she reached the band of Vera’s sexy panties. She kissed the band and curled her fingers under the band and made eye contact with Vera as she pulled the panties down her legs, never looking away. Once the panties were discarded in the pile on the floor she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Vera’s pelvic. She finally broke eye contact to admire the beauty between the younger woman’s legs. She brought her thumb up to stroke Vera where she so desperately needed it.

“Joan.” Vera let out in a gasp

Joan smiled and opened Vera’s legs more so she could settle herself on her stomach in front of Vera’s sex. She brought Vera’s legs over her shoulders and leaned in a little closer to inhale the musky scent of Vera’s arousal. She gently blew on Vera’s clit before swiping her tongue across it causing Vera to jerk and moan. Vera tasted salty yet sweet. It was intoxicating. Joan needed more. She swiped her tongue across her clit again causing Vera to groan. Joan circled her clit with slow movements. She looked up to see Vera with her head back and mouth slightly open. Her chest was rapidly rising and falling. She was gripping the sheets so hard her knuckles were white. Joan knew she was close to her climax so she picked up her pace. She reached for Joan and dug her fingernails shoulder. Without warning Vera yelled out.

“Fuuuck.” She climaxed hard. 

Joan pressed her tongue on Vera’s clit allowing her to ride out her orgasm. Before Vera knew what was going on Joan continued to lick her clit a little harder this time. As Joan licked her clit she tried to push her away but couldn't. Joan placed her finger at Vera’s entrance as she continued to lick Vera. She knew Vera was wet enough but she wanted the younger woman to pull her in. After a few seconds Joan’s finger was being sucked into Vera’s cunt. She let Vera adjust before she added a second finger making Vera arch her back and moan loud. She moved her fingers in and out slowly curling up to hit her G-spot as she continued to lick her clit. She could feel Vera clenching around her fingers. She was close to her second orgasm. She could hear Vera’s breathing become heavier and faster. She continued to curl her fingers in a come hither motion inside Vera against her G-spot. 

“Oh god, J-Joan. I think, I think i'm going t-to, Holy Fuck uuuugh.” 

Joan pulled away from Vera's clit and continued to stroke the inside of Vera. Vera’s thighs were quivering. She cried out in ecstasy and when Joan pulled her fingers out to her surprise Vera squirted as she cried out and came. Joan never expected Vera to be a squirter but it was definitely hot and something she planned on doing again. Joan crawled up next to Vera and pulled her close and kissed her ear. Vera was still recovering from her climax but was clearly embarrassed. Joan pulled her tighter and whispered in her ear.

“It's ok, it's normal and if i'm honest i liked it.” Joan grinned 

“I-I didn't even know i could do that.” Vera’s voice was a little shaky

“Like I said, it's normal and I liked it so I definitely plan on doing it again. Come on let's get some rest, you're going to be a little sore in the morning.” 

“But don't you w-” Vera couldn't finish because Joan kissed her.

Joan pulled away from the kiss “Of course i want you too but we will have time for that later.” She kissed Vera again. “Come.” 

Joan sat up and pulled Vera off the bed and changed the bed linen. She didn't say anything because she didn't want Vera to feel any worse for something that was natural and also hot. After she changed the linen she pulled off her panties, the only remaining piece of clothing she had on and grabbed Vera and they both crawled into bed. Vera curled up to Joan and she fit into Joan’s arms perfectly almost like they were meant to be together. 

“Sleep myshka.” Joan kissed the crown of Vera’s head

“I love you.” Vera said before she drifted off into a sound slumber 

“I love you too.” Joan pulled her closer

_ I want to come home to this everyday _ . Joan thought as she smiled and drifted off to sleep along with Vera.

  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically just some fluff :)

Joan’s eyes fluttered open along with a sharp intake of breath. She smiled once she realized Vera was cuddled up close with one arm wrapped around Joan’s waist and one under her head. Almost as if they were merging together as one, their legs were tangled. They held this position for most of the night, hardly even moving from each other's embrace.

When Joan pulled Vera closer to her she heard a low hum as the smaller woman snuggled closer to her. Vera untangled her leg and threw it over Joans hip, pulling Joan in even more. While Vera was readjusting Joan stroked her hair and down to her collar bones with a feather like touch. She grazed over the swell of Veras breasts and then made it to her arm. Slowly feeling her way down Vera’s arm. She makes it to her ass and reaches around to squeeze Vera’s ass and pull her closer. She feels her way back to Vera’s thigh and pulls it up more giving her more access to where she was planning to go next. She slid her hand down to Vera’s calf and then all the way back up to her inner thigh. She could see Vera’s chest heaving. Joan slowly moved her hand up to Vera’s center and cupped her feeling her heat. She ever so gently slid a finger between Vera’s folds and she could feel how wet Vera was even in a deep slumber. 

“Hmm” Vera managed to get out sleepily

Joan continued to stroke Vera’s folds not yet touching her clit. After a few seconds she heard a small groan escape from the smaller woman’s lips so Joan took the invitation and circled Vera’s clit causing Vera’s hips to jerk involuntarily. As Joan circled Vera’s clit faster she could feel the younger woman rock against her hand. Once Joan felt Vera was wet enough she decided to add a bit more pleasure and moved her fingers lower to Vera’s entrance. She gently pushed one in first letting Vera adjust then she pushed two in causing Vera to moan. Joan thrust in and out of Vera as the smaller woman moved her hips rhythmically. Joan knew Vera was close so she reached with her thumb to Vera’s clit and rubbed as she thrusted deep inside her aching wet center. The arm that was around Joan’s waist tightened as nails dug into her back. Vera couldn't hold on much longer. 

“Come for me  _ Myshka _ .” Joan whispered as she placed a kiss on the smaller woman's head.

“Joan” Vera gasped out as she shook and came in Joan’s embrace. 

Joan let Vera slowly ride her fingers as she came down from a euphoric high. Vera let out a breath as Joan removed her fingers. 

“Good morning.” Vera said sheepishly as she looked up at Joan.

“Good morning love.” Joan leaned down and placed a kiss on Vera’s lips 

“Come, I'll draw us a bath.” Joan reluctantly drew herself from Vera's embrace. 

Once Joan was out of bed and in the bathroom she pulled out the bubble bath that she saw Vera had gotten the day before and turned on the water to the tub. Once the water was the right temperature she poured in the bubble bath. While Joan was getting the towels to put in the towel warmer she felt a pair of small but strong arms wrap around her waist from behind. Joan turned around and wrapped her arms around her lover and squeezed before pulling away and stepping in the bath with a hand held out for Vera to grab and do the same. As Joan sat down Vera settled herself between Joan’s legs. The older woman reached for a wash cloth and some body wash and started to rub circles on Veras back.

“So you go back to work tomorrow, are you ready?” Joan asked. After a short silence Vera answered.

“Yes I am.”

“Are you sure because you can stay here for a while longer if you'd like. I can always make linda take yo-” 

“Joan, I'm ready, I promise.” Vera placed a reassuring hand on Joan’s upper thigh 

“Ok.” Joan said with a sad smile as she moved her hand down to Vera’s to interlace their fingers. She brought their hands up to her mouth and placed a kiss on Vera’s wrist.

They sat in the tub for a while just relaxing before Vera decided to get out. 

“If I stay in here any longer I’m going to turn into a prune!” Vera exclaimed 

Joan chuckled and stepped out with Vera. They dried off together and made their way back to the room to get dressed for the day. Vera went for a white fitted short sleeve shirt with blue jeans that made her back side look amazing. Joan went for an emerald green loose fitted shirt and black jeans. Since they have been staying together it wasn’t really awkward to change in front of each other it just came naturally to them. After they were dressed they made their way downstairs. Joan went straight to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. While the coffee was brewing Joan grabbed the bread and popped a few pieces in the toaster knowing Vera never liked a big breakfast. Once the toast was done she put the pieces on a plate and grabbed 2 mugs of coffee. She walked over to the table where Vera was now sitting and placed the toast and a mug of coffee in front of her.

“Thank you” Vera said with a smile 

“Your welcome darning. What should we do today? It’s lovely outside.” 

“Well I was thinking about doing something different for a change if you were interested?” Vera spoke hesitantly 

“Like what?” Joan’s brow furrowed in slight confusion as to what her lover was trying to ask.

“Well there is this bar out of town and I've been wanting to go but I don't want to go alone. The only thing is it's not a regular bar.” Vera trailed off adverting her gaze.

_ Not a regular bar? _ Joan thought. 

“So a lesbian bar?” Joan asked with her head cocked and an eyebrow raised.

“No- Well yes.” Vera looked slightly embarrassed. “Only if you want.” She was quick to add

“I'd love to Vera.” Joan said with a smile as she finished her cup of coffee.Noticing Vera had also finished her coffee and toast Joan took the dishes to the sink and washed them before putting them away. Vera was surprised that Joan agreed so quickly but she was also extremely happy.

“WAIT!” Vera said out of nowhere. Joan jumped.

“What?” Joan said wide eyed and confused.

“One sec I’ll be right back.” Before Joan could answer Vera ran through the living room and back upstairs. It was a few minutes until she returned. Joan smiled when she realized what was in Vera's hands. The box with the red bow from the night before.

“You almost forgot to open your gift.” Vera said out of breath from running up and down stairs. Vera handed the box to Joan with a sheepish grin. 

As Joan took the box from Vera all she could think about was what could be in the box. What would Vera get her that would be put in such a nice box. Would she like what Vera bought her? As she carefully took the ribbon off the box and set it aside she took off the lid. She peeled back a layer of tissue paper to reveal a beautiful black silk nightie. Most of Joan's night attire consisted of different silk nighties and to her surprise Vera picked the right size. Joan placed the box on the counter as she took the nightie out of the box and held it up to her torso. It came right above her knees and had thin spaghetti straps. Joan smiled at Vera and gave her a big hug.

“Thank you Vera I love it.” Joan was sincere with her words. She hardly ever got presents but when she did the idea of being loved enough to be thought of was overwhelming.

“You're not done yet, there is still something in the box.” Vera pulled away from the hug slightly. 

Joan turned around without a second thought and realized there was another layer of tissue paper with something underneath it. She peeled back the other layer and her eyes went wide. It was a sexy red lace bra and pantie set. She had very few pieces of lingerie in her wardrobe but none as sexy as this one. She turned to Vera with wide eyes.

“Oh gosh do you not like it?” Vera asked worriedly 

“I love you Vera Bennett. Did you know that?” Joan asked as she pulled Vera into another big hug. If only Vera knew what Joan was planning.

“So you like what I got you?”

“Yes.” Joan answered with a smile and gave Vera a peck on the lips. 

“Good but if we are going to that bar I need to change into something more presentable.” Vera said as she kissed Joan back.

Once Joan and Vera departed they made their way upstairs. Joan took her new lingerie and put it away while Vera went to find something to wear. Vera rummaged through the clothes in her side of the closet until she settled on a floral dress. Vera kept her hair down and wore no makeup. Joan decided to go for a dress shirt and kept on her black jeans. Once they both settled on their outfits they made their way downstairs. At the door Joan picked out her shoes which ended up being simple black heels making her even taller than Vera. Vera on the other hand chose flats giving her no hight advantage. Joan grabbed her keys and looked back at Vera to make sure she was ready. Once Vera gave a little nod Joan opened the front door and allowed the younger woman to exit first as she closed the door behind them. Joan walked with Vera to her side of the car and opened the door for her something that they always did when riding together. As they settled in the car Joan put the car in reverse and backed out of the drive and headed to their destination.

~~ 

Once they arrived at the bar Vera decided in a booth seat so they could have a little more privacy. Vera ordered a steak which Joan also ordered. While Vera was distracted Joan also ordered shots of vodka and two sex on the beach drinks. 

After a while their food arrived and shortly after their shots and mixed drinks arrived. Vera looked in confusion as they received the drinks. 

“When did you order these?” She chuckled a bit

“While you were busy looking in your purse for your card. Which I will be paying tonight by the way and don't even try and talk me out of it.” 

Vera sighed and rolled her eyes knowing that there was no negotiating when Joan was set on paying the bill.

“Fine.” Vera mumbled under her breath

As they ate they took shots and downed their mixed drinks. By the time they finished their food they had finished 3 shots each a mixed drink and now they were nursing on a glass of wine. As they chatted a bit and sipped their wine a song that Vera just couldn't resist. 

“Joan dance with me?” Vera asked with her bottom lip stuck out.

“Maybe later.” If Joan was being truthful she liked to dance but she really wanted to see Vera’s moves. 

As Vera got on the dance floor she started swaying her hips to the beat of the music. Joan couldn't help but smile while Vera danced her heart out. 

_ There will be miniskirts _

_ Huh, and camisoles _

_ Tight leather pants _

_ Or nothing at all _

_ You'll be dancing _

Joan’s eyes widened as Vera lifted up her dress just a little for a quick peek in Joans directions and gave a wink when the lyrics said “Or nothing at all.” Joan just shook her head and looked around to make sure nobody got a glance of what was hers. Vera continued to dance until the song ended. 

Before Vera got back to her seat another song started playing. Vera’s eyes lit up and she walked over to Joan. 

“Come on you have to dance with me to this one. Please.” Vera begged.

Joan contemplated her answer until she finally gave in and allowed Vera to take her to the dance floor as the song played. Joan took Vera in her arms and they swayed back and forth. Joan rested her chin on Vera’s head and closed her eyes. As they swayed back and forth Joan started to sing along with the song.

_ But when you touch me like this _

_ And you hold me like that _

_ I just have to admit _

_ That it's all coming back to me _

_ When I touch you like this _

_ And I hold you like that _

_ It's so hard to believe _

_ But it's all coming back to me _

Vera smiled as Joan continued to sing and dance with her. As the song slowly came to an end Joan leaned down and kissed Vera's ear before whispering.

“You're the only one I see here.” Joan squeezed Vera as she smiled and placed a sound kiss on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First song played: https://youtu.be/S9FCYlGDAc4
> 
> Second song played: https://youtu.be/pDxoj-tDDIU
> 
> You can find me on twitter @Lustfulunlawful :)


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